It's A Funny Story
by Zandria Steel
Summary: Stark chuckled, "Well you see it's a funny story." Nick Fury raised an eyebrow. "Funny how?" "Well Bruce and I", he paused to point at the Doctor, "were working on a cure for him. I had this theory that if we could deage him a few years that maybe, the green guy wouldn't exist. And well, I was working with the chemical compounds and Nat …"


"Where's Nat?" He asked casually, leaning on a piece of rubble, acting as if seeing the top floor of Stark Towers in ruins was completely normal.

Though his question was directed Stark, his attention was on the other scientist. Bruce was darting around what was left of the room looking behind rubble and moving small chunks of concrete. He seemed to be looking for something.

Stark meanwhile was staring at his feet. He answered his question his gaze never leaving his shoes.

"Somewhere", he paused looking around the remains of the room, "I think."

Was that fear he detected in Stark's voice? Not the usual snark he had come to expect from Tony.

_The reason for the archer's being there was the fact that Nat had gone to check on the two resident scientists, who had barricaded themselves in the top floor. A few minutes later there had been an explosion and he rushed to the top floor to find it in ruins. _

"What were you two working on?" He kept his casual tone, but also casually took out his bow from his quiver.

"It's not important anymore." Stark muttered.

Figuring that he might get more information from Banner, he turned to see said scientist bending over something on the other side of the room.

As he walked over to where Bruce was and he noted Stark following. Bruce was standing somewhat behind a chunk of wreckage so Clint didn't see what he was looking at until he rounded the corner and what he did see, made him do a double take.

There was an unconscious red headed girl wearing a tattered black oversized t-shirt, who looked about eight years old.

"What were you working on Banner?" This was bad, _very_, very bad.

The timid scientist shrank back.

"A cure,", he paused, "for me. Tony theorized that if we could deage me a few years, to the point where my body hadn't been exposed to gamma radiation." Again he paused, "That maybe the other guy wouldn't exist. You see, Natasha had burst in when Tony was working with the chemical components. And …", he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "you can probably guess the rest."

Stark tediously stepped beside him to get a better view.

"Thank God." He sighed in what was apparent relief. "I thought … that, that I had killed her." Then seemingly as an afterthought Stark added, "Does she have her memories? Cause if she does she is _so_ going to kill me."

Clint mentally face palmed, _how could I forget_? He mentally reprimanded himself. "Banner, does she have her memories?"

"It's impossible to know until she wakes. Is it important?" The second the doctor finished his question, Natasha's eyes opened.

She leaned up into a sitting position and scanned them over.

He knew that expression, she seemed to be evaluating them. He flinched when she paused to stare at him. Her stare turned into a glare at seeing the bow in his hand. Jumping up, she sprang at Tony.

Tony, totally unprepared, let out an unmanly scream. Unperturbed she kicked him in the stomach, knocking him flat on his back. She then ran across the room towards the stairway, which was in plain view because Clint had left the door open. But fate seemed to be on their side, before she could reach the door, a piece of rubble fell and blocked the door. Natasha, seeing her escape route blocked, she darted in to one of the crevices in the wall created by the explosion.

"So", said Stark as he stood up, "I'm guessing her having her memories are important."

He shook his head, "Without her memories, she's dangerous, she won't trust anyone."

"So we've got an unstable mini Russian assassin on our hands?" Tony deadpanned.

He sighed and nodded. "You two stay here, I'll see if I can lure her out."

He started towards where he had seen her dart into. As he got closer, he saw her retreat further back into the crevice. He crouched down and reached his hand in.

"Come out?"

Her response was a kick at his stomach. "Ow!" Now he felt some empathy for Tony, she was strong. _Strike that_, he thought. He could hear Tony laughing on the other side of the room.

Crouching down again he got to eye level with Natasha. She glared at him.

"Net, ya ne budu."

He grimaced, Russian was his worst language.

"Pozhaluyasta, Natasha vystupit." He tried.

"Kak vy znayete moye imya!"

Guessing from her tone she wasn't happy, Clint decided to switch gears and try Romanian, it was his best language.

"Eu sunt prieten, nu dusman."

She regarded him with a questioning gaze. "Cum stiu ca nu esti unul dintre ei?"

By "them" he guessed she meant those from the Red Room. He knew this might be his only chance to get her to trust him. He had to get this right.

"Esti un Romanoff, niciodata nu ai avut o capilarie, ai fost-sunt pregati pentru a fi Black Widow, iar culoarea ta preferata este alb."

"Who are you?" While her voice stayed level, but her eyes revealed her fear.

He smirked, so she did speak English. He should have known. That was just like Natasha, no matter what her age, to hold onto her cards.

He considered his next words carefully. "I'm Clint, your …", he paused, he didn't what she would think of him in her current mind frame and he never knew what she classified him as at her former age, so he decided to go for basic. "I'm a friend." He paused to let the words sink in.

"If you want me to come out, put away the bow." She bargained.

He looked at his left hand to see that he hadn't put away his bow from when he questioned Tony. Sheepishly put it away in his quiver.

"Now will you come out? Please?"

She nodded. He backed up giving her room to come out.

"Who are they?" She motioned with her head toward Tony and Bruce.

He thought fast. "They're my friends."

He started walking back towards them, expecting her to follow, when he noticed his quiver felt lighter. Quickly he spun around to see Natasha with his bow and an arrow, she pulled it back and let go. He dropped to the floor and watched the arrow soar through the air, it made it's descent and stuck in the floor space right in front of Tony. Who again let out another unmanly scream.

Clint stood up and grabbed the bow back, sticking it in his quiver.

"Why did you do that?" He was genuinely curious, he knew she could've hit Tony if she wanted.

"Cause he did this to me." She gestured to herself. He noticed a small smirk was growing on Natasha's face that he didn't like the look of.

He watched silently as she walked over to Tony, grabbing the arrow imbedded in the floor. He chuckled as she kicked him in the shins and then pushed him over. He saw her stand over Tony and hold the arrow to his throat and thanks to his S.H.I.E.L.D. hearing enchancers he could hear what she was saying.

"Credit card please."

Wordlessly Tony surrendered his credit card, satisfied she lifted the arrow. Then she did something he didn't expect.

She ran full force back to the blocked stairway, jumping up on the rubble that had previously blocked her path. She climbed to the top of it, where she was eyelevel with the air vent. The cover had been blasted apart from the explosion, so there was no obstacle for her. She quickly ducked in, but not before sticking her tongue out in Stark's direction.

He sprinted to the vent where she had disappeared in. Getting up to the vent just to realize he was too big.

Staring at the vent, he then cursed in ten different languages. Apparently Natasha had heard him because he could hear her laugh echoing from the vents.

* * *

_The next day …_

He was heading to Stark Tower's artillery range to blow off some steam. He had spent all of the day before combing through New York for Natasha, but didn't get anywhere.

Stepping through the door he saw the very person he had been searching for. On the other side of the room, small pistol in hand, eyeing a target, was Natasha. Seemingly oblivious to his presence he examined her while he had the chance, in comparison to yesterday she seemed like a different person.

She was now wearing proper clothes, a pair of jeans, long sleeved tee shirt, and a pair of sneakers, all articles black. The change he most noticed about her was the way she carried herself. Yesterday it was in fear and anger. Today it was full confidence.

"Where did you go yesterday?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Shopping." She simply stated gesturing to her new clothes, then blasted a hole in the center of her target.

"Really? Is that all?" He found it hard to believe that she only went shopping.

"Well now that you mention it," she paused, reloading her gun, "I also hacked into S.H.I.L.E.D. and filled in the gaps in my memory."

"And?" He was going to get it out of her.

"And, I also got back at Tony."

"How?"

"I emailed Fury that Tony made another explosion and one of the Avengers was caught in the crossfire."

* * *

"What happened?"

He had gotten the anonymous message that Stark had blown up his lab, again, and that one of the Avengers had been caught in the crossfire. He noticed that all of the Avengers were here except for Agent Romanoff, he suspected she was the one caught in the crossfire.

Since nobody had answered him, he decided to repeat himself.

"What happened?"

He watched as Clint pushed Stark forward.

Stark chuckled, "Well you see it's a funny story."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Funny how?"

"Well Bruce and I", he paused to point at the Doctor, "were working on a cure for him. I had this theory that if we could deage him a few years that maybe, the green guy wouldn't exist. And well, I was working with the chemical compounds and Nat …".

Clint shook his head. "Tony I'll take over."

Nick could literally see the weight lifted from Stark's shoulders as he switched places with Clint.

Clint smiled at him and Fury felt his stomach drop. He did not trust the gleam in Agent Barton's eye.

"Nat come out."

A young red-headed girl came walking out from behind Captain Rogers and Thor, that was too familiar for his liking.

"What happened to Agent Romanoff?" He was doing his best to keep his voice level.

Barton smirked as well did the girl. "I think its obvious what happened to Agent Romanoff."

"So you're telling me, that Stark's experiment resulted in this." He pointed down to the girl.

"Why yes, yes it did."

He looked down to see the source of the voice and sighed. "Stark's doing the paperwork.

"Hey!"

* * *

Translations in order

{1} No I won't.

{2} Please Natasha come out

{3} How do you know my name!

{4} I am friend, not foe.

{5} How do I know you're not one of them?

{6} You're a Romanoff, you never had a childhood, you were-are being trained to be Black Widow, and your favorite color is white.

Author's Notes

I have no idea about Natasha's favorite color is. My reasoning that it is white, because in the movie she described having a lot of red in her ledger. White represents purity something she hasn't had for a long time.

I made up Romanian being Clint's best language, I have no idea what his best language is.

The translations are all from Google translate, so if you speak one of these languages and it is wrong, please tell me through pm or review.

This story was inspired from the Teen Titans movie "The End", from the scene with Robin and Raven in "hell". I mused on what other characters would fit in this setting and came up with Hawkeye and Black Widow. Then I wondered how Fury would react. Thus this story was born.

If you don't like this blame the Plot Bunny.

And if you do like this please tell me.


End file.
